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Another cut…

April 26, 2007

Apparently, cutting her sister’s hair out of jealousy only led to more jealousy.  The baby sister with all of the curls was now the baby sister with the cute short hair cut and the story of “where did all the curls go?”

To create her own story, Sierra cut her own hair, which Tony took her to Supercuts yesterday before school to get evened up.  It was picture day yesterday, too.

We talked a lot about how hair dressers go to school to cut hair, so hopefully this will be the last of the hair cutting for awhile.   She likes it, and the best part is that she says she looks like her cousin and that makes her happy.

Some people have said to me that I need to put the scissors up in the house.  They are put up.  I don’t have them locked in a safe, but they are put away.  This is a lesson that if an almost 6 year old wants something, she will get it.

I have seen her cut her hair with toenail clippers.

I know that my method of parenting is different then other people’s.  I want Sierra to learn that she has to live with her actions.  I want her to learn that some actions you can’t take back.  I want her to be self reliant and responsible.

One of the reasons why I haven’t had many playgroups at my house lately is my feeling that my house is no longer baby safe.  How did that happen?

For example, if you have one child and it is a baby, you can lock the doors and know that the baby isn’t going to crawl outside.  However, if you have a 6 year old who can unlock the doors and even use the child safety door knob (which we don’t have) the outside is now suddenly accessible.

Another example…and this happened two days ago…

Someone gives your older daughter a beaded bracelet at a birthday party.  The beads are big, but still a hazard to a baby.  Madeleine is almost 3, so you think that you are “safe”  and you don’t think twice about Sierra having the bracelet.  The bracelet breaks.  Beads end up on the floor and Sierra cleans up all the beads, except for that one, that nobody sees… except for Madeleine.  Madeleine picks it up and knows not to eat it.

However, she decides that it looks like an earring and shoves the bead into her ear.  My cousin extracted the bead, so we didn’t have to take Madeleine to the ER.  I will easily admit that I was about 2 seconds away from driving there.  It just goes to show you how easily an older child can un-baby proof your house and why sometimes I am feeling more and more uneasy about having other people’s kids over.

I started to write about parenting and how it changes from when you are parenting a baby or toddler to parenting an actual child.  I know that sounds silly, but as Sierra is transitioning into a kid so is my parenting.  I am learning that some of my methods aren’t working like they use to.  I am learning that training a dog is way easier than training a child, ha ha.  I am learning that kids can start developing these traits that if you don’t stop the behavior while they are this age that it could continue when they are older and get them into trouble.  Also, it isn’t easy to change a kid’s behavior.

What translates on book and online is so different when it is your own child.

I am getting the idea that if Sierra is busy in positive activities all of the time, then she won’t have time to be sneaky and do things she shouldn’t be doing.  I look forward to when she goes to school full time in the fall.

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9 comments

  1. Her new haircut is so cute!


  2. She is a doll with short or long hair!

    Wendy I completely understand what you are saying. I am finding that even with just Caleb, our house is no longer baby proof.. he is 3 and if he wants it, he gets it. He is a climber and very resourceful. I think even if you did lock those scissors up in a safe, she would have found another way to cut her hair.

    You should never feel like you have to defend your parenting. Your girls are well cared for and that is all anyone else should be concern about. It bothers me to no end when someone comments on another’s person parenting style.


  3. I totally understand what you’re saying. Having an older child really makes it challenging to keep certain things away from the younger one. Scissors are a big issue in our house because Alex loves to use them. She’ll use them everyday if I let her, but then she’ll walk off and leave them where Aidan can get them. Just a couple of weeks ago, he cut her hair without her realizing it. She was coloring and he walked up and snipped some of her hair from the front near her face. When I was getting her ready for bed I noticed that she suddenly had bangs. LOL She had no idea – she was that absorbed with coloring. I’d seen him go at her hair with scissors before but I’d always stopped him in time. Oh, well, it’s just about 1/2″ of hair so we’re just going to let it grow out.

    I can relate to feeling judged on one’s parenting choices. My mother has been helping me a lot since my cancer treatment began and we have extremely different styles of parenting. She is a micromanager to the nth degree, whereas I’m all for encouraging independence and self-reliance as soon as they are capable and willing. It took her months to get comfortable with Alex using scissors, and she’s five! She literally watches them constantly so she can tell them what not to do because it could, potentially, lead to a fluke accident, or sometimes, just because. Today, they were blowing on their hot food and she told them to stop because it might make them dizzy. Wth??? LOL I’ve tried to tell her that if their behavior doesn’t have a high risk of causing broken bones, major blood loss, or death that it’s fine if they do it, but I’m not getting through. At least, it’s helped me understand why I was such a fearful child. 😦


  4. Parenting is an ever growing learning experience.
    She looks cute


  5. Sierra looks darling.

    It is very hard to be that “out of the box” parent. I’m one. And people often comment on how I do things. Well, my baby graduates from high school in a month #3 in her class and with a scholarship to college. She values family and still wants us to be a big part of her life. She is kind to others and avoids the drama most teens live for.

    I’ll never believe that there is one standard for parenting. Humans are way too complicated. You have to go with your gut about YOUR kids. Everyone else can go %$&* themselves.


  6. She does look cute, but always did anyway.

    Parenting-Elena was always “easy” as far as never putting htings in her mouth, never going in cabinets. I babyproofed and when I realized she didn’t even care, took them all off and well, no problems. There are scissors all over the house and she never would even think to cut her hair with them-she’s just one of those kids who asks all the time before she does anything, never would even think about doing something to “disappoint”-her being an only has something to do with it, I guess, but it’s her make-up and it is who she is. Of all things, I have tried to “loosen her up” and after trying for a year figured out that her genetics are mapped and this is who she is, can’t change her-I am more lax then she is.

    There isn’t a book on parenting. When I was a kid, you got (well I did) smacked for any little indiscretion, and other bad stuff I won’t discuss-did it work? No, made me more angry then anything else. There are times my mother will sit here and tell me “I wouldn’t put up with that” when it’s something so small, it’s stupid. I just quietly tell her “well, we have discussed this before and your parenting methods weren’t so hot, but I said I would never bring it up again, but back off” and she nods. I guess what I am saying is, if it feels like it’s right to you, then it is. Pick your battles-

    BTW, the bead thing isn’t your fault and would have happened with something. When I was a kid we had (in my family) a pea stuck up someones nose, a bead stuck up a nose, a weeble put in my cousin’s “secret hiding place”-we won’t discuss that fiasco, but she was walking funny and it’s how it was found) and my favorite-Flintstone vitamin shoves so far up a nose it, the ER had problems getting it out. Eventually Madeline would have found something to shove in her ear/nose or somewhere else-it could be a rock from outside, etc-you can’t babyproof the world!

    Also, I tell people and used to tell them my house was not babyproofed-nothing had to be moved off of end tables, etc and I didn’t do it when they came-just meant the parents had to watch them. Now, forget it-all the Polly Pocket stuff, etc. Elena had a sleepover Friday and the girls mom came Saturday to pick her up and brought her 12 month old with her. The mother didn’t expect it to be babyproofed, she sat, had coffee and watched her baby-period.

    Lighten up on yourself-Embrace each moment Wendy, even the absolutely shitty ones 😉


  7. I hear you! It is always something. 🙂 I agree a lot with the previous posters. 🙂


  8. Cute girl!


  9. It sounds like you’re doing a good job. However, if you want, I’ll trade you my dad’s dog for Sierra. 😉



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